Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Do you like being different?

As I should have anticipated, school is busier than I anticipated. I’ve been mustache-less for many days. But last week I went to the contra dance, not to dance but to play in the band, and I put the mustache on. The pick-up band brings folk who don’t come to the other dances, so they hadn’t seen it yet.
I got comments ranging from “Nice mustache,” perplexedly, to “I like your mustache,” amusedly, to “I see you’ve cut your hair… and grown some facial hair….” One person asked, “Did you just come from a costume party?” (To which I replied, simply, “No.”)
But at the break, when I ventured into the crowd of dancers for some cookies, I had the most interesting mustache-related exchange I’ve had since I started this project.
A woman who I’d danced with a few times came up to me and said, “So what’s the mustache for?”
“Oh,” I said, “it’s, uh, kind of, um, it’s sort of a-“
“Are you trying to make a statement?” she said. “Because it’s unconventional? Do you like being different?”
I was surprised that she understood without my having explained.
“Well, just wait ‘til you’re my age and you actually have a mustache,” she said, a little harshly. “I spent a lot of time and effort getting rid of mine. If I’d have known, I would’ve just given it to you!”
I don’t frequently find myself not knowing what to say. I did not know what to say. I think I smiled awkwardly and walked away.
When I find myself not knowing what to say, I think about it and figure it out afterward. But I’ve thought about this and I still don’t know what I could’ve said. A question to my five zombie disciples: what should I have said?

1 comment:

  1. I feel like when people ask "Do you do XYZ because it's unconventional? Do you just want to be different?" what they really mean is "Are you doing that weird thing just for the sake of going against the norm?"

    And in a way, yes, you are. But the point isn't to BE different, really, it's to point out the inconsistency in the standards that you're differing from. Am I right? So, if it were me, I would have said, "That's oversimplifying it a bit. I'm wearing this 'stache because I want people to look at conventional standards of beauty and fender."

    Did that help at all?

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